Got Fear? 5 Tools To Stop Fear Before It Stops You

One of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes is:

We gain strength and courage and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…We must do that which we think we cannot.

Our brains have a hard wired survival mechanism that served our ancestors well. When entering a cave and seeing a hungry pack of lions the fear mechanism put us into action and we ran, thereby ensuring continuity of the species. However, now, upon entering a boardroom and seeing a pack of board members (hungry or not), that same fear mechanism doesn’t serve us so well. We fret about it for days, we imagine the worst possible outcomes,we freeze. And yet if we stop to think about it, is the survival of our species really at risk?
Next time fear is stopping us from doing something we really want (as it often does me), here are the tips that I use to combat it.

1. Write down the worst possible outcome. It usually goes like this: “If I make a bad presentation, everyone will think I am stupid, or lazy, or both. They will immediately fire me. I will lose my home. My children will not love me anymore. My husband will leave me. I will be out in the streets”. Once it’s written down you can look at it and say to yourself, “Now really, is this really what’s going to happen”?
2. Now write down the best possible outcome. It usually goes like this: “If I make a good presentation, everyone will know that I am really smart and hardworking. They will be looking out for me for the next promotion, pay increase, etc. I will be able to (fill in your favorite fantasy here). Now look at both stories and ask yourself which story feels better to believe and believe it! Burn the other story.
3. Ask yourself what strengths/talents do I bring to create the best possible outcome. What are the strengths that you know you can count on that always come through for you? Now exercise them to walk into your fears.
4. Ask yourself who can help me and then ask for help. Think about the strengths of your network. Who can help you with understanding something about the board members and what they’re looking for? We often are afraid to ask for help (if this is the case go to Step #1). The worst possible outcome is that they will say “No”, and the next step is “Who else can help me?”. My experience is most people are flattered when you reach out to them in recognition of their strengths and expertise.
5. Create an Action Plan and Execute It. Most people know what they want but are lacking the step by step action plan toward their greatest outcome. If you are someone who is list driven like me, then creating a list of small steps makes the fear more manageable. If you survive the first step, and trust me, you will, then take the next small step and you will gather steam along the way.

So look at it like an experiment. Try it. Have fun with it. Make Eleanor Roosevelt proud! And as always I would love to hear your feedback on how this worked for you!

This article was written by Henna Inam, C-level executive coach, global speaker, and author of the book Wired for Disruption. She helps leaders grow their agility to be a force for good and thrive in times of change. They create organizations that drive breakthroughs in innovation, growth, and engagement. In roles including Head E-Innovation and Chief Innovation and Marketing Officer, Henna drove transformation throughout her 20-year corporate career as an executive with Fortune 500 companies. Join the thousands who follow her blog here. Connect on Linkedin.