This blog post is personal. I am trying to practice vulnerability (something I’m not very good at) as I write it.
It is with mixed emotions that I write this on April 23, 2013. I was not planning to write it. I was hoping to not have to write it. The emotions I have gone through are sadness, shame, anger, despair, pride, clarity. The Boston Marathon bombings of April 15 were done by two young Muslim men. I am Muslim. In the aftermath of the bombings, the emotions that I have experienced caused me to consider who I am as a leader.
Mixed Emotions
As the horrific story of the Boston Marathon bombing unfolded, many of my friends were whispering and praying “Please, let it not be…” a Muslim. You see, for the vast majority of Muslims, we feel like our very faith has been hijacked. We feel a collective shame and accountability when terrorists commit acts in the name of the religion. The concept of jihad that I was taught was not about killing innocent people. It was about doing battle with the impure parts within ourselves.
So today I feel:
- Sad – For all those in Boston impacted by the bombings
- Shame – For the acts of the terrorists, for belonging to a religion that has been so associated with terror
- Anger – At the young men for the innocent people that were killed and injured, and for using the religion to express their anger
- Despair – For not being able to do anything about this
- Pride – In how well Boston responded to the attacks, in the measured actions being taken by our country, in the outpouring of support for Boston from Muslims around the world
- Clarity – In who I really am as leader
What Does this Have to Do with Leadership?
As the news unfolded over the past week, there was a small voice inside of me that said “this is none of your business. You don’t need to comment about this. This has nothing to do with leadership. Just lay low”. The small voice inside of me was ashamed about being Muslim because of the terrorist acts that have branded the religion. I was scared of the ramifications of speaking out: “Mainstream America will not like you because you’re Muslim. Muslim extremists will definitely not like you for speaking out”.
Then a different voice reminded me that I need to practice what I preach. In the book I am writing about leadership authenticity, I talk about how our fears and shame stop us from being authentic leaders. We don’t speak up about our unique perspective because we fear that we will not be liked, or that we will be ridiculed.
This different voice asked “Who are you as a leader? Are you willing to walk the talk?”
So you see this blog post is a bit of a personal jihad for me. It’s about not letting the parts of myself (fears and shame) prevent me from being who I am, speaking out and sharing my perspective, and pursuing my leadership purpose. My commitment to myself is about walking the talk. And I’m trying to do that today.
What are you holding within yourself that needs to be set free, so you can be set free to lead boldly?
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This posting is absolutely beautiful! Blessings upon you as you speak the truth.
As a muslim myself, i fail to understand why we are “expected” to apologize / feel ashamed for acts of these criminals/nutjobs when we are not associated with them at all and even the people that were associated with them and/or were their friends/relatives have nothing to do with their actions.
There are over a billion muslims in this world and a few are bound to have mental disorders, criminal mentality, or twisted beliefs, the question again is why do I have to apologize and feel ashamed for their actions?
I do feel ashamed of all the terrorists as a human being, and that covers these two nutjobs and all the others, muslim or non-muslim.
I haven’t read any posts of shame over Aurora shooting or Newtown shooting by any christian and rightly so because these were acts of individuals and not a community.
Thanks
Umer
Hi Umer – Thanks for sharing your point of view. I hear your frustration with this situation. You are right – a silent, largely peaceful community of Muslims should not take on the burden of a few twisted people. Yet many of us do, based on the discussions among many friends and family.
I didn’t feel like I was “expected” to apologize to anyone. I was merely speaking my truth. Here’s the difference I see between the Aurora and Newtown shootings and what happened in Boston: the former were people with twisted beliefs who didn’t bring their religion into their motive for their twisted acts.
Henna
Henna, thank you for sharing this deeply personal testimony. I feel for you and the vast majority of Muslims who must continually hear their faith connected to acts of terrorism. Extremists of any faith or ideology are equally capable of horrendous acts. I commend you for embracing vulnerability and speaking your truth. We hear so much in the media from those with extreme views from either end of many spectrums. It’s imperative that those of us in the largely quiet middle find the courage to share our perspectives and attempt to balance the dialogue.
Thanks Lisa. I guess my fear of being disliked by mainstream Americans is a bit unfounded :-). Actually, when we step back to really look at most of our fears in the face, we find that they are unfounded.
Henna a very nice article. My take: I cannot take the blame of entire muslim nation.
I like the comments of Chechen president. Instead of apologizing he said they were raised in America and they are the product of American culture.
We muslims/pakistanis are quick to take the blame for acts of terrorism or anything unlawful. We cannot carry the world on our shoulders. Every person is responsible for their own deeds/misdeeds.
Dear Javed – Thanks for joining the conversation. I agree with you.
Dear Henna,
I am a proud muslim and a proud pakistani. Fail to understand why some of us muslims take an apologetic approach.