Greetings friends!
Quick poll. How do you listen?
A. I occasionally listen, but mostly I’m in my head working on more productive things like what I need to check off next on my to-do list. Not enough hours in the day ya know, plus that Marcy just drones on and on!
B. I am listening at 100% but I also need to respond to what Marcy’s saying (I have such good solutions to Marcy’s problems if she’d just listen). So part of my mind is doing that. My mind is pretty great at multi-tasking!
C. Sure I listen but if something being said is uncomfortable and I get stressed (or hungry!) then I’m out. Those times I like to fantasize about my next beach vacation (or hamburger with crispy onion rings and extra cheese).
D. All of the above.
E. None of the above (add your own response here).
Most of us aren’t really listening most of the time. It’s not our fault. There wasn’t a Listening 101 course when I went to college! I didn’t really listen until I trained to be an executive coach. As an executive coach, I am trained to listen so I:
– Hear what the other person is saying.
– Observe through their body language and tone of voice what they are feeling (and not saying).
– Objectively notice their mindset and belief system to get deeper insight into their motivations.
– Notice my own reactions to what they are saying, notice when I’m in my own head, and manage myself to stay present.
Listening mindfully is a core foundation for emotional intelligence. It helps us understand and manage ourselves and others. Emotional intelligence is one of the critical leadership skills for today.
This week’s practice is to challenge yourself to listen mindfully. Can you repeat back what you heard? What is the emotion the person is feeling? Notice when you’re in your own head and have stopped listening. Take a breath and re-engage. You may even want to practice active listening by summarizing what you heard someone say: “Marcy I heard you say this new software is giving you trouble. It sounds like you’re really frustrated”. It’s a true gift to others to help them feel seen and heard.
A great way to train yourself to listen is the four minute practice called “Improve Focus” here.
Wishing you a mindful week!
P.S. One-Minute Mindfulness are short reads that give you a practice a week so you can experience being mindful in the activities you’re already doing. If you’d like to learn and create mindfulness habits with teammates and friends, share this link to sign up.
P.P.S. I would love for you to share your experience or questions from this practice in the comments below.
