Week 30: Accept the Inner Loser

Welcome to Week 30 of the Authenticity@Work Leadership Tool-kit! My intention for this series is to share a quick tool each week to help you lead with more authenticity, adaptability and inspiration so we can together create workplaces where we bring the best of ourselves and inspire others. So grab a journal and an accountability partner to make these practices even more powerful for you!

In last week’s post we discussed giving yourself and “A” and accepting all the parts of yourself. Did you experiment with expressing the parts of yourself that you are generally critical of? How did that go?

We all have an “inner loser”— the part of ourselves that can fail, isn’t always right and can make mistakes. When our self-esteem is contingent on just winning and avoiding our inner loser, our ability to take risks, dream big, be truly all of who we can be, is compromised.

If our self-esteem is contingent on always winning, always being right, then we can find ourselves in a very unsafe place most of the time. This state of threat inhibits our performance, creativity, productivity, empathy, and ability to connect with others.

To lead ourselves and others authentically, we have to rewire our own neural pathways to have self-worth regardless of circumstances—and it’s a lifelong journey.

The most self-assured and authentic leaders are not afraid to be vulnerable, to show their flaws, to share their failures, because they understand that our connections are formed through revealing our humanity. They are already comfortable with their inner loser and know that that saboteur is simply part of the shared human experience. Their flaws don’t undermine their fundamental self-belief and self-worth. They’ve already given themselves an A.

Accepting ourselves just as we are is the greatest catalyst to our own growth, for we are more willing to step outside our comfort zones.

This Week’s Tool:

Interview a part of yourself that you dislike. What did you learn about it’s gifts?

Pull up two chairs. Sit down in one. Have your inner loser sit in the other (time to bring in your inner imaginative ally!)

Ask your inner loser the following questions and let him or her respond back to you:

1. How longg hhaave youu been with me?
2. What is your naame?
3. What are you here to teach me?
4. What is your wish for me?

Thank your inner loser for being a part of you and let him or her know what you intend to accept him or her too, as part of the cast of characters that makes up who you are.

Get the latest resources for Authenticity@Work (this tab will get updated with all kinds of cool resources). Curious to know more about the book? Read the reviews about Wired for Authenticity here.