Welcome to Week 39 of the Authenticity@Work Leadership Tool-kit! My intention for this series is to share a quick tool each week to help you lead with more authenticity, adaptability and inspiration so we can together create workplaces where we bring the best of ourselves and inspire others. So grab a journal and an accountability partner to make these practices even more powerful for you!
In last week’s post we talked about the team hijack and what happens when a group of internal saboteurs take over a whole team, and how to deal with it. Did you teach anyone the tool of “Choose Be Before Do”?
In week 21 we learned about how our shoulds undermine our authenticity because there is a fight going on inside of us, preventing us from releasing our full energy, heart, and commitment to what we want. Choosing who we will be from our authentic selves honors who we are and has a powerful impact on us and others. Here’s a client story about that.
Adriana, a coaching client, felt like she should give negative performance feedback to Debbie, but she had been putting it off. When I asked Adriana to visualize herself giving Debbie feedback, she said she freezes and her body becomes rigid like a cold wall. She said she felt the wall was between herself and Debbie and she wanted to do anything to get the wall to go away because she liked Debbie. When asked what inner saboteurs (link to Week 17) she was noticing she answered “the Avoider who can’t stand being uncomfortable, and the Pleaser who doesn’t want to upset Debbie”.
We explored various ways of looking at her situation. She was able to identify two values that were important to her: honesty and kindness. When she explored those values she realized that she needed to be honest with Debbie and tell her that she wasn’t a good fit for the job. Adriana also realized that she could do this with kindness without her old belief that you have to nasty when laying someone off. She also noted that Debbie had valuable traits that would work well in other areas of the company.
Adriana later shared that her conversation with Debbie went smoothly and she felt good about being authentic to herself, honoring values that were important to her, while doing what needed to be done.
This Week’s Tool:
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What “should” do I feel stuck in?
- What fears, emotions, or saboteurs (link to Week 17) may be present that keep me stuck?
- What’s the cost to me and others of staying stuck in this place?
- What strengths, allies (link to Week 17) or values can I bring to this situation?
- What new behaviors are now possible that I commit to?
It would be very useful for you to discuss this with your authenticity partner or a trusted colleague.
Get the latest resources for Authenticity@Work (this tab will get updated with all kinds of cool resources). Curious to know more about the book? Read the reviews about Wired for Authenticity here.
